A reader seeks advice on dealing with an overbearing mother-in-law who constantly interferes in their family life. While the husband dismisses her concerns, the reader feels increasingly resentful towards both his mother and him. Annie Lane recommends addressing the issue with the husband first, aiming to create a united front against the mother-in-law's intrusions. If that fails, a direct conversation with the mother-in-law about the harmful impact of her actions might be necessary.
Annie advises today's reader to have a sit-down conversation with her husband, but if that doesn't work, she should confront her mother-in-law directly. My husband, Mark, and I have been married for eight years, and we have a good relationship. We’ve always butt heads a little bit about his mother, but recently we have started really clashing over her. She’s always been a little overbearing, but lately, it feels like she’s trying to control our lives.
She’ll drop by unannounced, criticize how we’re raising our two kids, and even question how we spend our money. Last week she dropped in when our daughter was on the iPad (we set screen time limits for her), and she went on for 45 minutes about how bad screens are for children. I’ve tried to set boundaries, but Mark doesn’t back me up. He says it’s just how she is and that I should let it go. It seems to just roll off his back. I don’t want to cause a rift, but her constant interference is making me resent her -- and him. Start by explaining to Mark how much his mother’s comments are getting to you. He might not realize the extent to which her unsolicited advice is bothering you. With him on your side, you can both be on guard to nip her comments in the bud and quickly change the subject. If that doesn’t work, then you might need to sit down with her and have a direct conversation about how her comments are not just unhelpful but detrimental to your relationship with her
Relationships Mother-In-Law Family Conflict Communication Boundaries
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