Interracial and inter-ethnic married couples are doing well but face challenges in a highly political world. How they navigate their differences offers a guide for us all.
One challenge is processing high-profile racially charged events when partners have different backgrounds. Raising children who may not resemble either parent and may have a different identity requires communication.
. Using classifications from the U.S. Census Bureau, interracial marriage was defined as between five racial groups—American Indian or Alaska Native, Asian , Black or African American , Native Hawaiian or other Pacific Islander, or White . An interethnic marriage was also defined as between Hispanic/Latinos and non-Hispanic/Latinos.Interracial Marriage: How Diverse Couples Navigate Relationships in a Divided Time, Victoria Stubbs, Michael Woolley, and I describe race as a social construct, one forever changing in a period of our history when race is political and has been brought into the homes of so many Americans as a topic of discussion. Our couples were surveyed and interviewed at a time of unrest marked by the Black Lives Matter Movement,Many Americans have such marriages in their own families or will soon; one in six newlyweds now marries someone of a different race or ethnicity. The number of people who identify as multiracial or biracial is also clearly on the rise, and more mixed-race/mixed-ethnic children will be products of these marriages. Asian Americans and Latines are most likely to intermarry.In our interviews and surveys with close to 600 people in mixed marriages, the majority rate their marriage as highly satisfactory. Many feel accepted by friends and both families-of-origin and report that when they go out into society, they can easily navigate social situations without trepidation. Spouses feel they have learned a great deal about themselves and other cultural experiences and, in some cases, believe they are at the forefront of building a more diverse and loving world for themselves and their children.Yet within some couples, whether they have children or not, struggles emerged that require more work on the relationship than mono-racial or mono-ethnic couples may need to put in. Some of the key challenges discussed in the interviews include:People often feel most comfortable living in neighborhoods with people who look like them or share common key characteristics. Seeking out mixed neighborhoods where one race or ethnicity did not feel out of place was a priority and required a great deal of discussion., and safety. For example, one White woman married to a Black man became painfully aware for the first time of the risks facing her husband and her biracial children. Such events, as well as comments made by politicians, are sometimes processed differently by the partners, given their own histories withWe often heard that, when in their homes, the relationship flourished, but when out in certain situations, the spouses were on guard. Traveling to specific counties or states was avoided; keeping an eye out in restaurants or on public transportation was typical; sending a majority spouse into a store to return an item was weighed as to what the reception would be. In addition, couples who believe they appear to be in a mixed marriage when out in public struggled more on many of the items that measured comfort.The intersection of race and gender and the composition of the couple matter. Historically, Black-White marriage has drawn the most, particularly between Black men and White women. For some of the spouses who were not White, marrying a White person, as unfortunate as it sounds, often was viewed as conveying privilege. This requires the couple to talk through and understand how this affects their marriage dynamics.. When and how to talk about race with children was a frequent question, as children often do not resemble either parent; in addition, siblings may not resemble each other. Children might change theiras they age, as well as the groups with which they wish to affiliate. Parents may not be acknowledged as being a child’s parent when out in public, sometimes being seen as a nanny or a coach. All these challenges, and these are just a few, require ongoing conversations amongst couples whom we view as having triumphed in coming to understand and love each other at a time of great division. We can learn from them how to listen and be open to each other while recognizing their diverse experiences. As we near Loving Day on June 12, let us all celebrate together how far our country has come and recognize that there is still a distance to go.There was a problem adding your email address. Please try again.Self Tests are all about you. Are you outgoing or introverted? Are you a narcissist? Does perfectionism hold you back? Find out the answers to these questions and more with Psychology Today.
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