Miss Manners: When does a gift qualify for a thank-you note?

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Miss Manners: When does a gift qualify for a thank-you note?
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Their gift to the hosts went far beyond a bottle of wine.

To avoid this becoming an endless exchange, Miss Manners advises you to thank them with words alone — unaccompanied by a gift of your own.We have two sons in their 30s who were taught at a young age to say “thank you,” and were encouraged to write thank-you notes to the senders of gifts they received. We modeled gratitude in our behavior, as well.

In every other way, they are loving, caring people. Whenever we receive a gift or card from them, we promptly thank them, whether verbally or in writing. The real issue is that it pains us to think that they are equally ungrateful to others; I would like to encourage them to be grateful in all ways to all people.GENTLE READER:Miss Manners would prefer to frame this issue in terms of gratitude and empathy, but that tends to make people’s eyes roll or glaze. Yet they understand feedback, and feel that it would be rude to ignore the self-advertisements of people they have never even met.

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