When they come to my home, I always provide vegan dishes. Shouldn’t they provide non-vegan dishes for me, too? Or do I have to bring my own?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I have vegan relatives, and when we go to their home, they prepare only vegan foods. If it is a three-day visit, we eat the same boring foods for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
GENTLE READER: Sorry, but your turnaround does not work here. That is because a moral issue is involved: If your relatives believe it is wrong to kill living things for food, you would be asking them to violate this by providing such food for you. You do not violate any such principles when you provide vegan food for them.What about hosts’ obligation to please their guests? Nope -- again, not at the sacrifice of their morals.
Still, Miss Manners would like to be helpful. You can get temporary relief by being a good guest, and one way to do that is to relieve your hosts of the work of at least one meal. Locate a restaurant nearby that serves both vegan and non-vegan food, and take them out. Another way is to relieve them, temporarily, of your company. No matter how much hosts like their guests, they also like to have a few minutes to themselves. So identify a time when they have not made plans, say, “We thought we’d take a little drive around,” and head for the nearest hamburger joint.Why Tho? My friendly neighbor’s drunk driving terrifies me.
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