Miss Manners: Was I wrong to ask what he knew about these people?

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Miss Manners: Was I wrong to ask what he knew about these people?
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He implied I overreached in asking for information about potential club members.

I am the president of a small social club. At a party, a member was approached by two individuals expressing interest in joining, and they gave him their contact information.

I was delighted when our club member informed me about these two interested individuals. I was also happy to hear that they might show up at our monthly meeting, at my home. After thanking our club member for helping to find prospective members, I asked for their contact information. He responded by saying that he did not feel comfortable sharing their contact information without permission.

As the president of the club and the host of the upcoming meeting, was I out of line to ask for this, since these individuals had given their contact information to another club member ? All I wanted to do was to personally greet them and formally invite them to my home for the meeting.The sponsoring member seems to Miss Manners to be too easily made uncomfortable, as it is difficult to assail the logic that you can neither invite, nor admit, someone you cannot reach.

Rather than convince them of this, explain that you would never forgive yourself for the rudeness of not issuing a personal invitation to a guest and prospective member, and that therefore they should get their guest’s permission to share the information. If this fails, it is time for a rule change, which, as president, should be easy for you to accomplish. The new rule is that hosts are to be informed of the names and contact information of meeting attendees.

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