Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: My company has a mandate to return to office four days a week this year. While it’s nice to have the in-person camaraderie, co-workers who are conspicuously ill are coming in and spreading their contagion.
No one says anything. I am now sick . These co-workers are not heroes for coming in to work with their germs, but selfish and inconsiderate.: That you say, “You might want to reiterate the ‘occasional absence’ policy. The return to office mandate seems to have people confused. We surely do not want to encourage people to come to work when they are sick and contagious.” For maximum effect, Miss Manners recommends you have this conversation whilst sneezing and coughing -- safely over the phone, of course.: I have noticed a problem at quite a few restaurants I’ve frequented -- that their napkins seemingly come exclusively wrapped around silverware. So when I ask for an additional napkin or a replacement -- due to it being used to clean my hands or the table, etc. -- I am inevitably given a napkin with a new silverware set, which means I have additional flatware at what are sometimes small tables.Is there a polite way to ask for a napkin by itself? Or return the additional silverware that is unneeded?“Could I please have another napkin?” repeating, “Just the napkin is fine,” if necessary. But if that too gets ignored, Miss Manners thinks it is fine to return the silverware saying, “These are clean, I just needed the napkin, thanks” -- although a reputable restaurant will wash them again anyway.My husband believes that when we receive a single, indivisible gift intended for us as a couple or a shared experience, like another couple hosting us at a vacation home, both he and I should write separate thank-you note messages . I would prefer that we send a single message, using “we” in the note , with one person writing and each individual signing. Is either approach poor etiquette? At the top of yours, however, you began with, “my husband and I” which is the correct way to word it. The rest of a thank-you message would then be in the singular, save for a reiteration or two of how much your husband enjoys the present too. Then only the writer would sign it. But if you would still like to make letters of thanks a joint effort? Miss Manners suggests you take turns writing them.Miss Manners, written by Judith Martin and her two perfect children, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Marin, has chronicled the continuous rise and fall of American manners since 1978. Send your questions to dearmissmanners@gmail.com.
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