Miss Manners weighs in on the best way to give money as a wedding gift in today's digital age. She also provides advice on how to politely request accommodations from guests at a casual party.
In today's column, Miss Manners advises a reader on the best way to give money to a newly married couple. I grew up in an era where it was customary to enclose a personal check in a greeting card as a gift. This worked for celebrations attended in person, and also when the card and gift were mailed.My adult daughter just attended the wedding of a college classmate, and where we live, the vast majority of wedding gifts are envelopes containing cash or checks.
While my daughter has maintained a “checking account” for several years, she hasn’t needed a checkbook until this wedding. Our solution was to have her transfer funds to my account, and then I wrote the check to the newlyweds. With the changing times, is it acceptable to use online money transfer services for such occasions? On the surface, it would come across as tacky for a wedding invitation to include, say, a Venmo link, but it would be rather convenient for all parties.It would be even more efficient for them to ask for your bank account and routing numbers. Miss Manners will spare her readers the lecture on money being an unseemly present, as it lacks that once-treasured ingredient of thoughtfulness. But she will say that if you must give it, a written check is at least a bit more decorous. A physical envelope, while probably no more likely to solicit a thank-you letter, will at least be a reminder that a present was given -- as opposed to a sterile financial transaction on a website called “Gimme Dat Money.”How should I best phrase a request for guests to let me know about any accommodations they might need when planning a mid-to-large party? Examples might include dietary restrictions or mobility needs, and the context is a casual event where guests would bring dishes to pass. Most of our party planning and discussion is done digitally. I’d love to know a script that would let people know they can speak up without feeling put on the spo
WEDDING GIFTS MONEY ETIQUETTE PARTY ETIQUETTE ACCOMMODATIONS DIGITAL COMMUNICATION
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