Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: I’ve been married to my husband for 33 years and have three stepsons. The problem is with one of them, “Roy,” who is 47 years old and lives in another state.
When Roy asked, the day before, to bring “his” guest to our intimate family dinner celebrating a milestone birthday for his father, I told him no. I went on to explain that I had purchased a specific number of lobsters, which I get from a seafood store 35 miles away and which are very expensive because of their large size.
How can I avoid surprise guests in the future without causing more family drama and potentially hurting the “friend’s” feelings?: As Miss Manners opposes bringing unauthorized guests, you could reasonably expect her to side with you.
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