Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
I was active-duty military, eligible to shop in the commissary, where goods were somewhat less expensive than at a civilian market. My pay was also less than the equivalent civilian profession.
But if you are instead just following the newly popular trend of reading ill will into a casual act, are you not being both unkind and illogical? These days, when people seem eager to scream obscenities at passing strangers, who can believe that anyone would take the trouble to be so subtle with an insult?: My wife and I are close friends with another couple. We have traveled locally, domestically and internationally with them.
Given the increasing prevalence of gift-grabbing in the guise of group gatherings, I cannot help but think that that is the motivation for including us. I have no interest in attending this wedding, nor in providing a gift.
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