Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: I was raised right and know my forks and honorifics, but it seems some rules may have changed. I find myself frequently unsure whether something is a gift, in which case I’d simply say “thank you,” or if I should offer reimbursement.
2. I’m traveling across the country to visit my daughter for the holidays. Her boyfriend’s family is hosting the main holiday meal. They asked if I’d like to go with them to a event the day after. Gift or reimburse? In each case, I’ve assumed these items were gifts and have said a hearty “thank you,” but I wonder if I’m right.If there is even a remote chance that something was not a present, it is far more gracious to ask and be rebuffed than to have assumed incorrectly.
And while the colleague one was most likely a gift, any question of subordinance makes it prudent to ask.
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