Plus: If he gets a degree after he dies, is he still called ‘Doctor’?
My brother-in-law by marriage passed away, and we traveled out of town for the funeral, staying at a hotel. My daughter, an adult child from a previous marriage, lives about an hour away from where we were staying. She has only met my husband’s family four times in 10 years.
Was I correct? Or would it have been OK for her to show up for the meal and bring flowers for the widow?Marriage being the only way to acquire a brother-in-law, Miss Manners takes your point to be that the deceased was not your daughter’s uncle, but what we should call her step-uncle, if such things followed any logic.
If your daughter also wanted the meal, she could have called the widow to express her condolences directly — and said how sorry she was that she was not free before such-and-such time, which conflicts with the funeral.I carry an umbrella everywhere, and sometimes find myself walking with another person, or with a group, when it starts raining. I want to use my umbrella, but it becomes awkward.
It doesn’t seem polite to use it alone and let the others get wet. Sometimes I don’t even pull out the umbrella to avoid the situation altogether.Etiquette does ask you to try to share the fruits of your foresight. It has less interest in whether you succeed, which Miss Manners says to offer comfort, and not merely because she is scurrying to the nearest shelter.
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