Miss Manners: I found a strange piece of underwear in my laundry

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Miss Manners: I found a strange piece of underwear in my laundry
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My instinct is to return the item in a little bag with a note saying it isn’t mine. But somehow that feels rude, presumptuous and a bit intrusive.

I live near a university, and graduate students are always looking for odd jobs to make extra money. One of them does my laundry twice a week, and always returns it beautifully folded.

I’m no prude, and celebrate whatever sexuality may be expressed by this particular garment. Miss Manners suggests that you indeed return the garment with the note saying it is not yours. Adamant assurances of your open-mindedness need not accompany it.I am a young woman who was brought up by my parents to bring or send a gift to my host when I have been invited for a meal or a visit.

I try to be a considerate guest, cleaning up after myself and always sending a handwritten thank-you note. However, I find myself frequently flummoxed by the question of a hostess gift in these situations. Perishables such as flowers or homemade baked goods are tricky because my hosts are often letting me use the property when they aren’t present. In the past, in addition to the aforementioned thank-you note, I’ve sent gifts such as hand towels, a small piece of art that’s in their style, a bottle of wine, a Christmas ornament, etc.

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