Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
Some background: I had my second child about 15 months ago. My husband and I are not looking to have a third. I’m still breastfeeding, which makes my cycle rather unpredictable; still, I was concerned recently when I seemed to be about a week late.I was honest, telling her that I was hoping it was negative as I didn’t want to have a third C-section at age 42. She then said that I should enjoy any life I create and that any baby is a blessing. I just nodded, paid and left.
I felt like she was being really intrusive. What is the proper response in this situation, should it arise again?: What was that cashier thinking? “Congratulations” for what? Anyone buying a pregnancy test does not know if she is pregnant.Miss Manners is aware that some consider personhood to begin at conception. This lady takes it a bit further, conferring congratulations on the mere possibility.
But as you know, any version of “Are they still alive?” is creepy. If they are, it sounds as if they have overstayed their welcome, and if they are not, it sounds as if they have let you down.
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