... the dog barks when anyone arrives, not stopping until someone gives him a treat.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: A friend has a small dog. Though well-loved and generally well-behaved, he barks when anyone arrives, not stopping until someone gives him a treat. The hostess keeps treats at the door and hands them to guests upon arrival.
I gather many find this adorable. I don’t. The barking hurts my ears. Moreover, because I worked to train my own troubled rescue dog, I know rewards reinforce behavior: in this case, barking at newcomers. I would never correct my friend, but may I politely demur and say, “Why no, thank you,” when the hostess insists I reward her dog for barking at me? She seems so disappointed in me when I refuse. What should I do?
GENTLE READER: When offered a treat, put a little more graciousness into that “no, thank you.” Then make room for the next guest before your perplexed host is tempted to explain that the treat was not meant for you.Miss Manners: I wish I had done better handling an awkward situationMiss Manners: Visiting family member opens the fridge and it’s too familiarIf you purchase a product or register for an account through a link on our site, we may receive compensation.
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