Plus: What should I do about a neighbor who doesn’t recognize me?
My partner insists that while it was strange that he vaped without asking, it’s no big deal because unlike cigarette smoke, a vape pen won’t stain or cause any damage. But even if that is the case, I’m not comfortable with seeing a cloud wafting through my home.
Am I being unreasonable? Is there a polite way to ask him to put the vape away or to smoke on the deck?The reason etiquette objects so strongly to guests of guests is that they impose the duties of a host on you in regard to someone you did not invite. Miss Manners reminds you of this to say that her solution will also work on intentional guests. The polite way to enforce a reasonable household rule is to provide a solution: “I’m so sorry, we don’t vape in the house, but we have a nice deck; let me show you.”
The guest may then choose whether to relocate or to vape later. The solution offered must not be more than incidentally punitive, in this case being separated from the main event and possibly required to don a jacket. A good host refrains from sending guests into snowbanks or dark basements.I moved into my neighborhood three years ago, and I’ve had about 10 conversations with one of my neighbors at the end of the block.
In our last two conversations, which took place about two weeks apart, it was clear that she didn’t recall ever speaking to me before. Both times, we talked for a bit, then she introduced herself; when she left, she said all the “nice to meet you” stuff one says when you meet someone for the first time.Pretending to have just met is only going to cause confusion when your neighbor gets home and her husband reminds her that you invited them over last week while walking the dog.
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