My ex-friend thinks my use of etiquette is performative.
A former friend of mine said, on numerous occasions, that he believes my use of etiquette is merely performative.
Things like my love of homemade gifts and handwritten letters were also criticized as attempts to be unique and likable, not genuine acts of etiquette. It is no great insight to notice that etiquette is performative. There are formulas for words and gestures to convey intention and emotion. If you inconvenience someone, even inadvertently — or justifiably, in your case with the missed rehearsal, as it involved illness — you apologize as an acknowledgment of that person’s feelings. Accompanying this by a token present gives it extra charm. A handwritten letter shows appreciation for others’ efforts.
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