Miss Manners: Am I expressing empathy or making it about me?

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Miss Manners: Am I expressing empathy or making it about me?
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Letter writer wonders if it’s selfish to bring up similar experiences when someone is venting.

When friends or co-workers tell me about personal problems or physical issues they are experiencing, and I have had similar issues, I’m at a loss as to whether I should share my experience.I have often been through the same thing they are describing, or I know someone who has, and I have relayed those experiences in the past. What I am hoping to do is put the person at ease, knowing that others have experienced the same thing, or to pass along some tips for dealing with their situation.

At some point in my life, I was instructed to try to relate to the other person when listening, so I suppose that is where the impulse comes from. Any advice for relaying compassion without seeming self-centered?fine line, and crossing it often leads to unsolicited anecdotes and advice — and not necessarily the good or relevant kind.

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