When you think about it, adults – parents in particular – are setting an example of one type or another whenever children are watching them
Maybe I should have suppressed my shriek as the screen flooded with porn, but I was teaching my kids a life lessonwas clicking a link that should have taken me to a review of a children’s book, when my computer screen flooded with porn. I couldn’t close the window fast enough or – judging by the speed with which other family members flocked to find out what on earth was wrong – shriek loudly enough.
. Sometimes, we do so consciously, but especially when we’re reacting in the moment, we might forget they’re looking on. In those moments, our examples might be as much a lesson in whatIf we’re not careful, our behaviour might suggest the appropriate reaction to feeling stressed is to drink, that the appropriate response to frustration is passive aggression, that the appropriate response to feeling sad is buying things we do not need.
Another protective tendency is to shield kids from emotional struggles we might be facing, which they might learn from. Last year, when I received a distressing letter, I fought the instinct to flee the room to hide my tears, and stayed to explain them instead. I’d told the kids there’s no shame in expressing and processing emotion, this was my chance to show it.
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