Morals aside(ish), here's a ranking of MCU villains from least hot to most hot
Photo-Illustration: Vulture; Photos by Marvel Studios Some people watch the Marvel Cinematic Universe for the plot , and some watch Marvel Cinematic Universe content for pure objectification. I pay attention to the plot occasionally, but mostly I just want to see Loki and other mean-but-hot people do things I don’t understand for reasons I don’t understand.
Morals aside, here are MCU villains ranked from least hot to most hot. It should go without saying that spoilers follow for almost every movie and TV show in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. 35. Ivan Vanko/Whiplash Photo: Marvel Studios Whiplash is one of the worst villains and characters in the MCU. Mickey Rourke was fresh off a successful awards season, including an Oscar nomination for The Wrestler, and unfortunately Whiplash is flat both on the page and onscreen, and therefore not hot. Whiplash should have been very kinky , but he wasn’t.
31. Korath the Pursuer Photo: Marvel Studios I do not remember this character at all, even though he has an iconic head and has appeared in two MCU movies. Djimon Hounsou deserves better than this! 27. John Walker/U.S. Agent Photo: Marvel Studios John Walker is the kind of guy you had a huge crush on in middle school but as an adult you’re disgusted with yourself about it. This is meant as no offense to the very charming Wyatt Russell — it’s more of a testament to his performance. This is exactly how you should feel about John Walker; he’s someone who is way more sinister and cruel than he seems.
23. Ava Starr/Ghost Photo: Marvel Studios Ghost is more of an antagonist than a villain but could have been hotter if the story made her more of a supervillain. Instead, she is a woman with beautiful eyes, a cutting-edge suit, and superpowers who could have prevented a lot of damage if she communicated what she wanted to the protagonists earlier in the movie.
19. Sonny Burch Photo: Marvel Studios Sonny Burch himself is not particularly hot or special in any way, but as a Walton Goggins stan, I was compelled to selfishly place his character in a generous spot in the ranking. HOT 15. Tyler Hayward Photo: Marvel Studios Tyler Hayward seemed like a normal hot daddy at first: just a handsome friend with salt-and-pepper hair who barks orders at agents who are not equipped to handle all this superhero stuff. While Hayward is still a hot daddy, he is an evil hot daddy and a person who would rather fire missiles at a problem than deal with it in a more humane way. Hayward will probably be back, and possibly be even hotter because he could have a beard.
11. Adrian Toomes/Vulture Photo: Marvel Studios Michael Keaton’s commanding performance and Vulture’s motivation and connection to the overall story — his life was upended during the Battle of New York, depicted in The Avengers — make him one of the best villains in the MCU. His leather-daddy status makes him one of the hottest.
7. Baron Helmut Zemo Photo: Marvel Studios Several months ago, Helmut Zemo would not have cracked the top 25 on this very blog. But Daniel Brühl’s exuberant-but-refined performance in Falcon and the Winter Soldier added layers to an otherwise stale and ordinary villain. Zemo made an impact with some iconic coats, he danced at a club, and was so charming that I was suddenly on his side. If anyone else in the MCU besides the Grandmaster has an orgy setting on their aircraft, it is the baron.
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