Love Is Blind's second season shows us the depressing reality of dating as a woman of color:
whiteness is seen as a symbol of lust and freedom, while Desi women are seen as symbols of regression and even. It’s heartbreaking to see Shake constantly reify these harmful ideas, seemingly not even caring that he is saying these things to millions of people, that Deepti will one day be made aware of this. It’s a shocking lack of respect.
However, it’s a lack of respect that Deepti recognized, saying “no” to Shake at the altar, which clearly — and hilariously — distressed him. Watching her serenely say “I’m choosing myself,” as her mother embraced her was powerful, and perhaps more groundbreaking than a cut-and-dry romance story. Another case of a woman of color being disregarded is Natalie Lee, a Korean-American participant who became engaged to a white man, Shayne Jansen. Although Natalie also chose herself on her wedding day — the girls reallythis season! — she and Shayne had a romance that was dotted with painful moments from the beginning. A white woman, Shaina Hurley, was also interested in Shayne during the initial dating stages.
It’s a common dynamic with men who love women of color; white women are treated gently and with care, while their women of color partners are the ones they unload all frustrations onto. As a Black woman, it’s a dynamic I’ve even faced in the past, with men of color partners being perfectly cordial and kind to wildly racist white women — sometimes directed at me — and then verbally abusing me when I pointed out their racism.
That image is burned into my brain, and I feel like it represents what women of color this season have been dealing with.
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