Loneliness Blinds Us to Kindness, Perpetuating Isolation

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Loneliness Blinds Us to Kindness, Perpetuating Isolation
LonelinessSocial PerceptionRelationships
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New research suggests that loneliness can distort our perception of social interactions, preventing us from seeing the care and admiration others are extending. This misperception may lead to lower relationship quality and contribute to the cycle of loneliness.

Lonely people can't see when other people are admiring them or showing them care.ebbs and flows for some people. For others, it latches on tight and doesn't let go. A 2023 Surgeon General's Advisory declared loneliness to be an epidemic in the United States, citing evidence that one of every two adults report being lonely .

Specifically, loneliness may alter how people think such that they cannot perceive the very kindnesses that might reduce loneliness. Unfortunately, failure to perceive others' warmth is not just a missed opportunity for connection. People who are lonely and cannot see others' admiration and care end up having lower relationship quality, which won't help their loneliness .

From an evolutionary perspective, the social cognitive bias inherent in loneliness might be protective: if I keep you at a distance then I will be safe . This makes sense if people are living in threatening social situations, but when caring others are trying to be supportive and you can't see the support, loneliness begets loneliness at a steep cost.

This research suggests the negative cognitive bias associated with loneliness may be one reason loneliness can be chronic . By revealing how loneliness distorts perception, however, this research also offers a path toward breaking the loneliness cycle, namely, challenging these maladaptive thought patterns. From this lens,may be a productive intervention: people can be taught to question their negative thoughts and to test what they are thinking against other markers of reality.Lemay Jr, E. P.

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