Love and guilt in lockdown: Your stories of getting in touch with an ex
Here is a selection of stories sent in by people who readWe forgive each other for the past and now might have a future
That simple WhatsApp message started a conversation which, during the past six weeks has only paused for sleep. We have sent messages, shared video calls and even met up once . Sometimes we've chatted long past sunrise. We fell in love with each other, but he said he was bisexual - although he later admitted he was gay but could never come out as he was scared of what his family and friends would say. Even though I had never met James before, I discovered that I knew his dad - he lives on my estate.
One day he was on his way round to see me and we were messaging each other saying how much we wanted each other and exchanging explicit messages. But he had left his Facebook logged on at his fiancée's house and she saw our messages in real time. He said we shouldn't really be talking and had his missus never seen the Facebook messages then we would still be seeing each other now. He said he never regretted anything we did. He said he understood why I contacted him and maybe we would talk in another eight years.I contacted a significant ex to tell him I had forgiven him - he didn't ever do anything particularly awful, but we were together for five years, 15 years ago, and he put me through a lot of heartache.
I didn't use quite such blunt words, but I told him what truly great, formative memories I had from our time together and essentially released him from the weight of the guilt that I knew he carried. He had an affair on-board his ship with another naval officer. They maintained the affair for five months before I found out and confronted him - I was at home with our two-year-old son, patiently awaiting his arrival home from deployment.He moved in with her, they got engaged and we were abandoned.
I grew up in an industrial area of the country and on leaving school I found a dreary position of employment in a local factory. Debah was from Yugoslavia - dark-haired, with olive skin and beautiful. We embarked on a casual relationship. Between work, going out with new mates, and generally living it up we saw each other. Debah wanted to get to know me better and become more of a couple. I decided against this and we went our separate ways.On my return I went to university. A profession, house in a pleasant suburb, and family followed.
After a few days of deliberately avoiding Debah at the hostel, she sought me out and stated that she knew I didn't want to see her and that she didn't want there to be any bad feeling between us. Later that month I continued travelling without saying goodbye. I'd found myself back home in Wales and more than a bit lost having dropped out of university. I now know that I was experiencing the first flushes of the clinical depression that has dogged me for decades. I manage it much better today.
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