p|Katie Finley is a cancer fighter/p|
The world may have moved on from Covid, but I’m still fighting to keep myself safe from the virusI froze — a ripened tomato in my hand. I felt the weight of it and noted the subtle spray of the cough on its bright red skin.
But the moment had passed. I took the spitty tomato up to the counter and told them to throw it away. “You don’t want anyone to take that home,” I said. When they told me the news, I instinctively put my hands on my stomach. I felt like I had been sucker punched. I struggled to breathe — stunned by the betrayal coming from inside my own body. And then my brain pretty much went on autopilot because, well, there’s not much you can do when you’re recovering from a double mastectomy and preparing for the unknown.
I’d started holding my breath for as long as I could under my mask, hoping every little bit helped against the invisible threat lurking inside the very place that was keeping me alive.But in October, yet again, I discovered the threat was coming from inside the house. I was diagnosed with cutaneous T-cell lymphoma on the bottom of my foot. Of all places! And it was a rare type of lymphoma.
So I still wear my N95s. I avoid crowded indoor spaces. I watch the surges come and go. I’ve watched some people fade out of my life and others advocate for me with fierce kindness. I’ve also gotten to know the pleasure of my own company very well, and I have to say: If you don’t have the patience to make room for me, you are really missing out.
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