'What I’ve learned as a coach is that most people never thought about the kind of life they want to live before they got caught up in living it.'
When I was 13, I lived in Uganda, East Africa, where most of the learning in the school I attended was hands-on. When our class hiked up Mount Elgon on a field trip, each student was assigned a guide.
What I’ve learned as a coach is that most people never thought about the kind of life they want to live before they got caught up in living it. Somehow, they say, they landed in a career or a relationship or a situation without understanding how they got there. “I feel lost,” they tell me. “I don’t know what I’m doing. How could this have happened?”
When I talked with David about how I should respond when I saw that he wasn’t following through, he realized that what he had initially decided — that I should excuse him and ask him to try again next week — wasn’t working. After discussing various approaches, we settled on a different strategy. He paid his bills on time and, as a bonus, spent the money he saved on late charges however he wanted.
. Ridding herself of those negative feelings was certainly possible, I assured her, but it was up to her to learn as much as she could about ADHD and take the responsibility to adjust her life accordingly. Fortunately, neuroscientists have found that the brain is flexible, that we can learn continually. Rehearsing actions forges new neural pathways in the brain, to develop competencies in areas that have been deficient. This flexibility of the brain, its ability to adapt, lets us learn new habits.
To succeed, you have to believe that you can succeed. Many people with ADHD have been labeled “stupid.” Refusing to accept this label can make all the difference in your life. By rejecting the negative scripts that hold you back, you can begin to see yourself more realistically.The question often arises about whether coaching can benefit anyone who is coping with ADHD. Experience has taught me that the answer lies in a client’s readiness to commit time and spirit to the endeavor.
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