Keeping secrets isn’t just withholding information in the moment. Rather, secrets take up space and time in our minds, distracting us from more important tasks.
Other times, we keep secrets to prevent harm to ourselves.I’ve got a secret. And so do you. It’s no secret that we all have thoughts and memories we choose not to share. Some secrets are mundane and cause us little concern. But others weigh heavily on our minds and become an onerous burden.
Slepian argues context is an important factor in determining whether secrecy will be harmful to the secret keeper, or not. For example, I’m privy to a lot of confidential information as part of my job as department chair. But I don’t lie awake at night worrying about this because withholding this information from others is part of the job.
People falsely believe that confrontations don’t happen in healthy relationships. Nothing could be farther from the truth. The important point is that confrontations can help strengthen the relationship if the focus of the conversation remains on the behavior at hand rather than devolving into personal attacks.Of course, your partner will be angry that you made a major purchase without consulting them. You already know that, and you need to let them say it.
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