Julia Fox’s memoir, ‘Down the Drain,’ provides an honest recollection of pain and a path forward for survivor narratives.
magazine. Suddenly, more people than ever wanted to know about this New York–famous former dominatrix who also happened to be a devoted, latex-clad mother of a beautiful baby as well as an art girl who once used her own blood on canvas.
In her memoir, Fox introduces us to Giovanni, the 23-year-old to whom she lost her virginity when she was 14. He winks at her while she is play-fighting in the dirt with her cousin in a small Northern Italian town near Milan, where she was born . Later, Giovanni plies her with alcohol until she can barely stand. Then he has sex with her — outside, on the ground, in the middle of the cobblestoned street near his car.
Fox is undeniably strong, but she has been through enough to know that appearing strong has a catch. The good-survivor archetype has forgotten much of what she knows and feels in exchange for credibility, and yet she isn’t taken entirely seriously, either, except by other strong women. When I think of this brand of survivor, parroting the party line to the last, I always imagine a conference room filled with other survivors applauding, which is meant to be its own reward.
Being taken seriously matters because reality is defined by those who are. When norms are defined by those who haven’t been sex workers, addicts, or abused, a distorted picture of reality emerges. And when we silo those stories into a separate category — imagine them in a bookstore alongside comics, cookbooks, and world history — the world retains a false shape that not everyone can live within honestly.
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