Vanity Smurf and Zazu might want to consider restraining orders.
. No, the media mogul has not been on the receiving end of a Trump pardon — the only crime Allen has committed here isJohn Oliver Debuts FYC Ad for 'Last Week Tonight' Featuring Guns, a Wine-Drinking Horse and The Fonz Wielding a PickaxIt took a while to get there, but Allen eventually got his.
Mocking a pardoned Jan. 6 rioter, who was draped in a comically large scarf, Oliver commented, “He looks like what had happened if Steve Carell fucked Gru, which must be something that Steve’s thought about, right? ” “Doesn’t every voice actor wonder what it’d be like to have sex with the cartoon character that they voice? I know I have,” he continued.
“I’ve thought about what it would be like to fuck Vanity Smurf and what it would be like to fuck Zazu. It’s not because I find it arousing, I don’t, but you can’t tell me that you wouldn’t be curious what it’d be like to fuck someone and hear your own voice coming out of their mouths. It’ll be so strange. ”“And if you’re thinking, ‘Why would you find a cartoon character sexually attractive in the first place?
’ First, lots of people do, but that’s not what this thought exercise is asking, really,” Oliver said.
“For the record, I don’t find either of these characters attractive, but let’s suppose there was a universe where I did, and they found me attractive — could I go through with it if they sounded exactly like me? Because it’s not like I’d be fucking myself, is it? I’d be fucking someone else that just has my voice. How would that feel?
How would I react if, mid-coitus, I heard my own pleasure moments coming out of Zazu’s beak? Would it ruin the whole thing? Would I somehow enjoy it? And if so, does that make me a narcissist?
”“Also, would it be weird for them? Because to Vanity Smurf and Zazu, I have their voices, don’t I? So, coulddo it? ” he went on.
“Of course, they’re cartoon characters. This could just be me projecting my own humanity onto a Smurf and a talking bird when they exist on their own planes of morality and biological impulse that don’t necessarily conform to what we’d say is right or wrong, you know?
After a lot of thought and consideration, ultimately I think Ibe able to power through and have sex with Vanity Smurf and Zazu, but I’d feel really guilty about it afterwards, and I’m not totally sure why.
” “Anyway, I would love to talk about this more, but we don’t have time,” Oliver said, “so I’ll just conclude by saying this: Let’s seeIf Allen did, FCC chair Brendan Carr would have an actual late night problem on its hands, and not justJimmy Kimmel Honored at Peabody Awards As He Says “Making Jokes About the President in America Shouldn’t Win You a Prize”John Oliver Debuts FYC Ad for ‘Last Week Tonight’ Featuring Guns, a Wine-Drinking Horse and The Fonz Wielding a PickaxSam Levinson Defends That Major Death in ‘Euphoria’ Season 3 Finale: “It Just Felt Like an Honest Ending”The Hollywood Reporter is a part of Penske Media Corporation. © 2026 The Hollywood Reporter, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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