“I’ve always been afraid of being shut out of love,” the actor tells VF in a wide-ranging conversation about her new essay collection, ‘Lifeform.’
“You can be asleep in a stone for so long, and so much can happen without your consent, and so much can happen because you are awake in the stone but afraid to even make a peep,” she continues. “But once you are out, once you get busted out, you can work freely and make up for lost time.
There’s nothing in my experience that’s the equivalent of a malignancy. I just felt so much shame about the ways in which I seem to characteristically push people away, ruin my own relationships, get eaten alive by fear, be terrorized by my own fear, be thrashed around by trust issues. These are not so gross and horrible and one-of-a-kind that I have to make them a secret. If I say them exactly as they are, I can make them digestible.
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