\u003cp\u003e\n\tSandra is PAPER's Contributing Editor-at-Large. She writes about sex and internet culture from her haunted house in Los Angeles. \u003ca href='https://www.instagram.com/sndrsng/' target='_blank'\u003e@sndrsng\u003c/a\u003e\n\u003c/p\u003e
, I’m already back at my grandma’s house in Seoul, jet-lagged and grumpy as I wait for the delivery man to arrive on his little motorized scooter. I just got off a 14-hour flight and all I want to do is eat the Korean-Chinese food myordered: Fried rice, tangsuyuk and jjampong.
“For my mom, I think she privately worried about me becoming really Americanized,” as Zauner explained, later saying she spent a lot of time thinking about her mother’s perspective. Part of that was also wanting to sprinkle in similar anecdotes that painted her mom as a complex and nuanced individual. So rather than some “tiger mom” stereotype, Zauner tried to focus on highlighting how their relationship was complicated yet full of love, just like any other mother-daughter relationship.
“It wasn't until my mom died that I realized this thing that always felt like an inherent part of who I was, could become untethered in this way,” Zauner added. “And now, all of a sudden, I had to kind of actively preserve and engage with it.”is also particularly special when engaged in tandem with Zauner’s music.
“It was time to try something new, to try and turn to different parts of life and examine them and write songs about that kind of stuff. I'm kind of giving myself permission to move forward with my life.” she said before referencing the way she tried to “dissociate” from her feelings with, enough time had passed where I felt like I was really able to embrace feeling again. The bad, good and in between,” Zauner continued.
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