It Still Stings: The Lasting Loss of Clone High’s Frozen Finale

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It Still Stings: The Lasting Loss of Clone High’s Frozen Finale
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And now an It Still Stings from the vault, for the 20th anniversary of the CloneHigh premiere, where jacoboller wrote about its perfect(ly frustrating) series finale:

’s cult. Those of us that pepper in the odd “Say whaaaaaat?” or an “I-er-uh” into our conversations are downright evangelical about the short-lived, 13-episode MTV animated series about a high school populated by amusing genetic copies of historical figures. But what stings the most isn’t the show’s premature cancelation —we got plenty more-style jokes thanks to the gigantic comedy careers of co-creators Phil Lord, Christopher Miller, and Bill Lawrence.

Let’s set the stage for the perfectly named “Changes: The Big Prom: The Sex Romp: The Season Finale:” As a mortally wounded John Stamos is carried by Principal Scudsworth, leading a diversionary conga line of clones into the flash freezer, Abe discovers that Joan has slept with his rival and all-around cool guy of school, John F. Kennedy. Oof. Right after Abe has his love epiphany towards Joan, too. I mean, serves Abe right for taking Cleo to prom, but still.

While doing the iconic palm raise , Abe says, “But Joan, I love…” Then the show zooms in on Abe’s lips, enhancing the “The Makeover Episode” bit to an even more ridiculous extreme, to give us a choice “J-Cle” before hard-cutting to black and reveling in the irony with an excruciatingly punctuated final card: “To be continued…?!”

It’s the teen drama parody version of the cops coming in to break up a Monty Python sketch. It’s the most cliffhangery cliffhanger, where there’s not just a freeze frame but a literal freeze that frames the whole cast—and its central relationship question. It’s not like everyone’s dying to know who Abe’s really wanting to date or anything.

As a summation of a series’ place in pop culture, the frozen “J-Cle” is a hilariously on-the-nose nod to unfulfillment. A cult show that many watched on bootleg websites already knowing its ultimate fate,had a lame duck finale and put all its eggs into one hilariously doomed basket.

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