Some children are coping with their COVID-19 anxiety with aggressive behavior. Here's how to help your kid cope.
The good news is that we can help our children unwind their anger and understand it. While you can help your child mid-outburst, better emotion regulation skills are built while they’re not under stress, so try post-freakout.
If you’re still quarantining, Kennedy suggested creating lists with your family of “Things That Have Changed” and “Things That Have Stayed The Same” . Respond to your kid’s lists by explaining the emotion behind what they take note of. Say, “Yea, it makes sense you’re sad, you love your friends and can’t see them,” or “I know you want to see Mommy more than you do. I am home but I am also working and that must be so frustrating to you.
And if you have to deal with an explosive moment? It’s important to label the angry behavior, use your words to limit it, and then turn your focus to the underlying feelings, Kennedy said. As you do this, you’re showing your kid that it’s possible to separate feelings and behavior, which is what regulation is all about.“‘I will not let you call me names. We care deeply about everyone’s wellness in our family, and name-calling is hurtful to others.’ Say this firmly but not scarily.
One of the key components of responding well is how you look at your child while you say this. “Try to gaze at your child like he is a good kid having a hard time, not a bad kid doing bad things,” Kennedy said. “Kids will take in this look before any of your words, and kids respond to the version of themselves we reflect.”
Then, post-freak out, take time to reflect. After all, everyone ― kids and parents alike ― has bad days. Take breaths. If you lose it at your kids, you’re human. If you can, find a calm moment and simply reiterate to your child that ― no matter the words that are said and the feelings that are felt ― you love them and nothing could change that.
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