“It’s not the norm, friends tell me. I know this, and there are still moments when I feel pain and anger; sometimes I question if I’ve made the right choice”
Photo: J.V. Aranda “Make sure to turn off the lights and lock the door,” I called from my bed. My body ached with exhaustion, and I said the words with my eyes already closed.“I’m so tired it hurts; I was up at 4:30 this morning.”
We are unlikely friends. After nearly 14 years of marriage and two children, one day he told me that he had found someone else. A few months later, she gave birth to their child. Poof, our family was gone, replaced by another. In the beginning, I was either openly hostile or ignored him completely. If I got good news, I kept it to myself because I didn’t want him to have one moment of feeling good about me. I gritted my teeth and complained to friends about him, and silently reminded myself that I was letting him be in my life — and in my home — for our children’s sake.
Our friendship evolved slowly. When we met in South Africa 22 years ago, I was a fledgling journalist, and he read every draft of every story. Over the years he became my best editor. Though a banker, he has a sharp editorial eye. More importantly, he knows my work. Invariably, he spots weaknesses in my stories that I can feel as I write them. Sometimes he’ll read something and say it’s not my best work; that I can do better.
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