‘It Feels Really Controversial to Be Trying to Get Pregnant’

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‘It Feels Really Controversial to Be Trying to Get Pregnant’
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“It feels really controversial to be trying to get pregnant right now. It seems like everyone has an opinion about it. Some people are saying that it’s irresponsible to get pregnant right now, because it’s not worth risking your health or the baby’s”

Photo: UpperCut Images/Getty Images/Uppercut RF In March, as the coronavirus outbreak was spreading rapidly across the U.S., the American Society for Reproductive Medicine recommended that doctors not begin new infertility treatments, including in vitro fertilization . Many non-urgent medical visits were being postponed, and there was concern that the risk that COVID-19 posed to pregnant people, pregnancies, and infants was still unknown.

When we hit the year mark, I was like, “Huh, this is a little harder than I thought.” They say that if you don’t get pregnant within a year of trying, you should get checked out just to be sure nothing’s wrong. It was devastating. I’ve always known that I wanted to have kids, and I really love the idea of having a biological child. I think as human beings, that’s something that’s ingrained in most of us. I also really want to be pregnant. I want to experience birth and breastfeeding. It’s really important to me. My therapist told me that getting an infertility diagnosis affects your brain the same way as getting a cancer diagnosis. It’s just heartbreak, I guess.

That did not happen. We ended up getting seven eggs from an egg retrieval, and out of those seven, which were fertilized with my husband’s sperm, only one embryo made it. We transferred that embryo, and the transfer failed, which was devastating — it felt like we were pregnant, and then we weren’t. At that point, I was spiraling, for sure. I was freaking out, because I feel like I’m a ticking time bomb. My biggest fear was that we were going to have to keep our embryos in the freezer for god knows how long.

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