Is It Worth It to Speak Up and Assert Yourself?

Why it's hard but important to take a risk and be honest about how you feel

prospects after having been a stay-at-home mom for 10 years recently said to me,"I'm a feminist. How did I let this happen?"

Focusing on what we can control—how we move through the world—is how we meaningfully change our situation and set a healthy example for those around us. Even if we've been over-accommodating in the past, or our needs have changed, we can still learn to assert ourselves. Consider the example of my client Christine, who, after years of subverting her desires to the demands of her husband's work, learned to stand up for herself.

Unexpectedly, shortly after our discussion and before she'd had a chance to raise the issue, Christine's husband came home and announced that another move was in the works. This time, Christine was ready."I'm don't want to move again. This lifestyle isn't working for me anymore. I want to set down roots here."Christine was prepared with an answer, having practiced in my office."You can travel from here. Let this be your home base.

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