Each task is meant to help to desensitise the feeling of rejection, making it easier to ask for what you want when you’re not afraid of getting a big hell no.
She came across rejection therapy, a concept coined by Canadian entrepreneur Jason Comely and further popularised by Jia Jiang in a. The idea is to go out and seek potential knock-backs, and Jiang put together a day-by-day programme of 100 ways to put yourself in uncomfortable positions, from asking for a ‘burger refill’ at a fast food chain to making an announcement on a busy plane.
sees it as a rework of a strategy regularly used in psychology to overcome anxiety: exposure therapy. “Avoidance is the hallmark of anxiety where short-term avoidance of anxiety-provoking experiences leads to long-term maintenance of anxiety. Exposure therapy involves gradually becoming desensitised to the uncomfortable feeling so you can tolerate it better, leading to less avoidance and reduction of anxiety in the long-term.
She mentions a patient she saw who fell into the latter category. “[They] experienced overwhelming feelings, ones they had been avoiding for a long time, that they couldn’t cope with, and they became anxious. This just confirmed for them that they were a ‘failure’ and ‘not enough’ as a person and made them feel worse.” Dr Medard adds that what is sometimes missing in the practice is the support and training in emotional regulation skills to handle the experience of rejection differently.
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