If you were teething you'd punch your dad in the testicles, too 🤛 Read an excerpt from patterballs' new book, Dad Up (via PenguinRandomCA)
. Copyright © 2021. Reprinted with the permission of Penguin Random House Canada.
As Norah’s parents, we have been very patient. After all, we had excellent training during Scarlett’s babyhood. Also, Scarlett, for the most part, has been a verywho understands that Norah is a baby and doesn’t know what she’s doing when she grabs our hair, sticks her fingers in our eyes, or in my case, rips my reading glasses off my face and throws them to the floor at every possible opportunity.
is to put her hands in my mouth and try to rip my own teeth out. I keep telling myself she’s doing this because she believes she is saving me from pain—sort of a “Dad, those are the things that are attacking me from the inside! Let me rip those out for you and then you get mine out of me, okay?” But the defiant expression on her face sometimes tells a different story.
For instance, in addition to ripping the glasses off my face whenever they are within range of her tiny arm, Norah has also recently taken to ripping the remaining hairs out of the top of my head when I put her on my shoulders. She does this while screaming with delight . She has also taken to straight-arming me and Nancy like a Hall of Fame running back avoiding a tackle whenever she doesn’t want to go to sleep—which is always, because.
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