In the premiere episode of Power Trip, the first season of our new investigative podcast series Cover Story, we embark on an exploration of the dark underbelly of psychedelic therapy
Lily Kay Ross pictured with Neşe Devenot and a Horizons attendee. Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photos: Provided In the premiere episode of Power Trip, the first season of New York Magazine’s new investigative podcast series Cover Story, we embark on an exploration of the dark underbelly of psychedelic therapy. We all want relief, after all — and now more than ever, we’re finding it in psychedelics.
Cover Story Mind. Body. Control. Uncover the dark truth in Power Trip, a new investigative series with original reporting from New York Magazine. CATHERINE: The idea was you need to break through. If you were nervous or if you were scared or skeptical of what was going on, you have to surrender. The drugs definitely make you more malleable.iO: Something awful happened to Lily inside this world. And when she tried to tell her story, people told her to keep quiet. So she left. Now, Lily’s back.
iO: When Lily first started talking to me about the shitshow and the coverups, I was skeptical. I didn’t want to be part of a project that played into the War on Drugs. I grew up in the East Village in New York, surrounded by people who used drugs, some for fun, some to self-medicate for pains the world wasn’t interested in helping them resolve. So I was sensitive to the way the world demonizes drug use.
I was 18. I had long curly red hair and I think I was probably pretty goofy and smiling. I was really into MAC eyeshadows, like five different colors at once. And we hung out in the trees. There were horizons of experience, richness, and depth, and textures of being human that I didn’t know were there before that day. It’s like learning a different language or something. As I was coming down, I thought to myself, Okay, I would like to make my daily life more like this, to feel as alive as I did.
According to the stories, the family lore, my mother had perfect pitch. And in ceremonial spaces, I would sing medicine songs or just songs that I found meaningful in that state. I listened to a lot of Nine Inch Nails. It was still in that early stage of my own period of change. There was this one song called “Right Where it Belongs.” I remember driving in my car when it hit me just how deeply I related to that song. It was late at night and I was singing along to it.
iO: Grob has the same voice and the button-up shirts and ties and the sweet smile that Mister Rogers has. Except around the same time Mister Rogers started his show, taking people to make-believe neighborhoods with his toy trolley, Dr. Grob started tripping. iO: Which could mean that on MDMA, someone with PTSD might be able to process moments that are normally too painful to think about.
iO: Of course, there are countless people who never stopped experimenting with psychedelics as medicine just because the government said not to. The underground. The psychonauts who’ll try anything. The chemists who tinker. And then the renegade therapists who’ve been giving people psychedelics as medicine for years. These people mostly call themselves “guides.” And that’s the world Lily fell into and fell in love with. The world of guides.
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