One hungover morning radically changed everything for me.
That started many years of me cycling in and out of periods of heavy binge drinking, getting scared, realizing this is an issue, trying to rein it in, and maybe going sober for a little while before the cycle continued.
I even went on personal development retreats, read books, and attended Alcoholics Anonymous a few times, but it never worked for me. For almost a decade, that level of anxiety I experienced every morning was completely linked to my drinking. I didn't realize that anxiety is actually a form of alcohol withdrawal when you're experiencing it related to drinking.
I smelt it and thought:"Oh, my gosh. I'd walked past that flower and other beautiful things a million times before, but I was so desensitized to them because of alcohol." I also realized that I was not a very good friend when I was drinking socially. I would be so focused on drinking, and whether there was enough wine for me, or if someone was drinking out of my bottle, that I wouldn't pay attention to the conversation in front of me.
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