Dear Care and Feeding: I'm shocked that my 14-year-old would engage in this type of behavior. What do I do?
I have a smart, funny, and motivated 14-year-old daughter, “Alina,” who has been homeschooled along with her tween sister “Penny” since the pandemic. Alina has recently been attending a private school a few days a week, as well as two community college classes, so she is gone most of the time. I trust her to make smart decisions and to keep herself out of trouble, although it is a little hard to drop her off in the mornings because I have no surefire way to communicate with her.
Sit down with your daughter and explain that you did not intend to listen in on her conservations, but that you heard Jenny say that she hooked up with Justin. Let her know you aren’t upset or judging, but you want to understand more about what she’s engaging in or planning to engage in so that you can help her move forward in a way that keeps her safe. The calmer you can be and the more matter-of-factly you approach the conversation, the better odds you’ll have of Alina being truthful with you.
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