💬 'My girlfriend and I do have sex very occasionally, but mostly we don't'
them the less I want to have sex with them. I don’t have many sexual feelings in general, but when I do have them, it’s more towards people I don’t know, acquaintances, or strangers, or anyone I don’t feel protective or loving towards.
My partner and I have talked about whether either one of us would have sex with someone else. We’ve agreed we probably would have sex with other people, but we’d have to have complete consent with each other beforehand. Talking and being open with each other is extremely important. This is all quite new to us, and my partner finds all this difficult, but she loves me and we are happy together so we’re figuring it out.
My girlfriend and I do have sex very occasionally, but mostly we don’t. I still see her as attractive, but I can’t just push myself to do it a lot of the times that she wants to. I’ll look at her and a part of me thinks, “Why would you do this to her? This is a person you love, not some toy”, despite clear signs from my partner about how much she wants to have sex with me.
It’s understandable and easy for other people to imagine that fraysexuals just get tired of their partners easily, that they get easily bored of how someone looks, or they just want an excuse to go on one-night stands and have flings, but that’s not the case with me. I often make the comparison between how I feel about my partner, and how one feels about their own family or pets.
Simply put, you can love your parents, siblings, and pets, but just because you love them, you don’t want to have sex with them, do you? This feeling carries over towards my partner too. I want to protect and love my partner. I love her because of who she is as a person, not because of her beautiful body.
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