'I assumed that the way I “liked” people was the same way everyone else “liked” people.'
from it. Brotto says research shows sexual and asexual female-identifying people respond with almost identical levels of physical arousal — “a robust genital blood flow response,” as she put it — when presented with a sexual stimulus. “But that doesn’t mean they’re attracted to what they see, or that they want to have sex,” she clarifies.
Brotto and I muse on how someone can be sexually aroused without sexual attraction. “I think that this is where there is a gap in our science, and not just among the ace community, but among the sexual-identifying community,” she says. “And [the question] is, how does arousal translate into attraction? Or is it the other way around, is it attraction that leads to arousal?”
There are still a lot of unanswered questions around asexuality, both for me personally and scientifically. The jury is still out on whether I’ll have or enjoy sex in the future, and I haven’t figured out exactly how I feel about that. While some aspects of the ace spectrum fit today, they may not fit months or years from now. In the meantime, I’m getting used to having questions and letting those questions go unanswered.
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