I had probably been in the same restaurants and grocery stores at the exact same time as my birth mother, without having any clue whatsoever.
My parents are great people and they are my parents, bottom line. I was simply looking for an opportunity to say to my birth parents,"thank you for making such a hard decision. Don't worry, I turned out alright." So that if she or my birth father were looking for answers too, they could have a little peace of mind.
We connected that night and it was amazing and wonderful—I certainly got a lot of answers. I'm 5ft 10in with curly hair and I have broad shoulders, and here was a woman who looked a lot like me but was Mexican-American and 5ft 2in. We had the same type of hair, the same smile and the same bubbly energy.
I think living in the same city as my birth mom was a little bit too much. And heartbreakingly, she was also an unpredictable person. So, I began to feel like it was time to place a boundary between us. I did also connect with Dave, who lived in North Carolina, and I kept in contact with him for a time because the distance made it feel more manageable.
I don't keep secrets from my children, we talk about hard things out in the open. I can't change my parents or how they handled the issue of my adoption, but what I can change is me and how I behave as a parent. And that means that any brokenness stops here, with me.
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