Flight 175 was a route I worked on all the time. Of course, I knew the crew who were on that flight on 9/11. It might sound crazy but I almost wanted to have been on that flight. I would have rather been up there battling with those terrorists. I just ...
in 1997 and I started flying out of Boston, which is my home, in 1998. Flight 175 was a route I worked on all the time. Once flight attendants find their niche with an airline they tend to stick with certain trips and that flight to California and back was one I enjoyed.
When I arrived home on the night of September 10, I went to bed and the next morning I went over to a friend's house to help him build a stone wall. There were builders inside the house and one of them came running out and screamed for us to come inside. A plane had already hit the North Tower and when we came into the house we saw the second plane hit the South Tower. I remember I called Boston Logan International Airport, but no-one was able to talk. It sounded like chaos there.
That played on my mind for a long time. I don't know what I would have done, but I would have rather been up there battling with those terrorists instead of those poor women. There were guys on the flight, so I understand that my thought process wasn't valid. Perhaps it was my way of appeasing myself. I just couldn't comprehend Amy or Katherine, or any of those crew members, being hurt. I loved working with those people. I guess it was survivor's guilt.
In 2013, I left United Airlines. I was in treatment and trying to find my way out of addiction. I told myself that if I survived the only thing I had to do was recognize and honor the crew members who died that day. It wasn't until 2015 that I was finally successful in beating my addiction. There was a hurricane on my first day of walking. The rain was coming down and I just said:"Let's go." I left the hotel in downtown Boston and I thought I'd walk 5 miles that first day. I ended up walking 18 miles.
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