'How can we properly mourn the loss of a black person who has lost their life while sitting next to someone who can never know that deep-seated grief?'
was slain by a policeman in Ferguson, Missouri ― a killing that sparked widespread riots in the area.rooms of recovery
The longer we are together and the more acts of violence that take place against black people, the more I’m surprised by how I want/need to share those experiences with someone who, like me, understands these injustices at a cellular level. I want that someone to be the man that I’ve chosen to spend the rest of my life with. And even though I know it’s not possible, I want that someone to be Scott.
But whether or not he cares doesn’t negate the fact that these acts of violence aren’t happening to him. When we see alcoholics being stigmatized, or divorced parents being villainized, we say, “Look at what’s happening to us!” But when it comes to matters of race, all at once, we can’t be a “we.” I’m grateful for my little affinity group, as I need to process these things as they come up. Otherwise, the fact that Scott and I don’t share a racial identity has the power to put us on separate sides of our sofa every time a tragic story about a black person is in the news.
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