When you admit that where you are is the result of choices you've made and choices that you’ve had no control over, it's a little easier to talk about money'
I recently found myself reflecting on this question after reading Anna Sale’s “Let’s Talk About Hard Things.” In the book, Sale, the host of the podcast Death, Sex and Money, writes that understanding our answer to this question can be critical to navigating finances in relationships. And yet, it’s one we rarely take the time to discuss out loud.
But my husband saw the move as an opportunity to save. If we can get the same as what we’re used to for significantly less, he reasoned, why not put the extra money away for a down payment, to pay off student loans or address another financial priority? The value in interrogating our beliefs surrounding money is just one of the many novel ways Sale suggests readers approach their finances and, in particular, conversations about them. We spoke about where personal-finance literature falls short, the importance of sharing your money story, and more.
Those were all sorts of big questions that I wanted to dive into with the show. I started the book a few years after the show because I wanted to create more of a guidebook for myself and for readers about why to have these hard conversations and how to have these hard conversations in our personal life.
“ ‘When you don’t share your money story as part of explaining your life story, there’s a lot that you’re papering over. ‘ ” Sale: Asking what is money for — that gets at a whole other dimension of why money is hard. Because we don’t talk directly about money culturally, the beliefs and values that each of us carries around about money are often unspoken and unarticulated.
You might have another person, for example, a recent immigrant to the United States, who grew up in a family where everybody shares money and it’s all about this group of people instead of just thinking about individual achievement and individual stability. That’s a very different way of thinking about money that has really different consequences for how comfortable you feel lending and borrowing from people in your life.
Sale: I really love personal-finance literature, I’m not here to knock it. I have relied on personal-finance literature, and found it really useful in my life, I just think it’s not enough.
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