The language of guilt still surrounding abortions for medical reasons forced Sarah Rodrigues to lie about terminating her daughter two decades ago
I lost my first child in 2005. Had she been born on or around her September due date, I would now have an 18-year-old daughter. Perhaps she’d be setting off on a gap year or starting university. Maybe she’d have long hair like mine, or maybe she would have chopped it all off into a style that I inwardly wailed at. Maybe she’d be sporty; maybe not.
And then there is another type of guilt; one about which we rarely speak: the one surrounding the choice to consciously end the life of a wanted child with In the space of a few short hours, we had gone from being excited, expectant newlyweds, to a couple wrenched by confusion, incomprehension, and despair. When we left the hospital, our walk back to the car was the first one, since our wedding, we’d made without holding hands.
There were some medical sites with clinical descriptions of why people might choose to terminate a pregnancy for medical reasons, but almost nothing in the way of other people – real people, other parents – facing what we were. This was nearly two decades ago, but today the taboo seems to be as great as ever.
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