“I’m confined to my house until mid-June – at the earliest. I can’t even go for a walk. No one can step inside the front door.”
My phone hasn’t stopped pinging. Messages so kind, I’ve been reduced to tears. ‘I hope your relentless positivity keeps you going,’ said one.instructing me to stay insideA friend, who’s had a lung transplant, got hers first. I was jealous. Ludicrous, I know. How were they being sent? Alphabetically? I’d be way down the list. By severity of illness? I might be promoted.My text finally arrived at 3.09pm this Monday.
The pandemic’s speed at taking hold has been mirrored by my sky-rocketing anxiety. Scratchy throat? Headache? Many a night I’ve convinced myself I have both. Despite living with CF all my life, and losing my sister, Kate, to it when she was 28, I’ve never suffered from anxiety. My husband, Gavin, jokes I cope with anything CF-related, but god forbid I stub my toe!
I’ve always considered myself lucky. I have CF, but I’m 47. My parents were told that I might not make the age of eight. Growing up, the average life-expectancy from someone with CF was 30. Now, according to the CF Trust, ‘half of all babies born with CF today are expected to live to at least their mid-40s.’For two years, I’ve needed oxygen to walk or exercise. Then, in December last year, I swallowed the first dose of new daily pills that should change my life.
Now I’m confined to my house until mid-June – at the earliest. I can’t even go for a walk. No one can step inside the front door.A line in The Text saying I could open windows sent me into meltdown. Did that mean I couldn’t go in my garden? Friends on my ‘CF Solidarity’ WhatsApp group were confused, too. Normally, my CF team would answer any worry but now they’re only responding to emergencies. I get that.
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