Rian Harvey, 23, from Dorset tells i why he wishes he'd told people about his cancer sooner, and not assumed that as a man he had to seem 'tough'
My life essentially paused and it was hard knowing what my friends were up to outside of the cancer world. I would look at social media and see them out having fun, playing football every weekend, going to parties, and I couldn’t do any of that so it was really tough.
I’m ashamed to say that now, but I think it might have been a coping mechanism, or a way to try to pretend I wasn’t unwell, and I didn’t need help. I hadn’t opened up much in life before my cancer, and when I was ill, I would always tell everyone I was ok. In 2015 I had a transplant from a life-saving donor , and I was discharged six weeks later. What happened next? I became depressed. It was as if everything I’d refused to open up about while going through the trauma of cancer, the chemotherapy, the thoughts of death, the terror, all of it – it presented itself to me in full force. I felt so isolated and alone with my feelings that I became really unfit and overweight.
When Covid happened, life slowed down so much, and I realised that I needed to start being more open about my cancer. It wasn’t my whole identity but it was a massive part of my life. To deny that meant I wasn’t being myself at all. It wasn’t easy, but when I did open up, I felt so much better.
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