Dear Deidre: Spotting the signs your partner is cheating
DEAR DEIDRE: MY husband has been having an affair with a woman half my age but insists it’s over and was “just about the sex”.She is a colleague who has been working closely — too closely — with him on a building project.I watched him get out of his car, walk across the car park and into the arms of a much younger woman.
I am 46 and my husband is 48. We have been together for 24 years and have two adult children and a grandchild.Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.He even told me he’d been called into work on an urgent matter.A couple of hours went by and I sent him a text, making up a story that my cousin’s nephew had spotted him at the pub.
He sent a text admitting he was at the pub, saying a client had taken him there for a business meeting. I knew he was lying and added that my cousin’s nephew didn’t speak to him because he saw that he was with another woman.He has since ended their affair and changed jobs.I’m not surprised. Betrayal is so much more than just sex.Be honest with your husband and explain how you feel. Tell him how much his affair hurt you.
With the right support, it is possible to make it past an affair but this is something you will have to do together.It will take some hard work and commitment from both of you to really look at what’s been going wrong.
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