I Can’t Figure Out Why All My Relationships Take a Drastic Turn After the One Year Mark

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I Can’t Figure Out Why All My Relationships Take a Drastic Turn After the One Year Mark
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Dear How to Do It: I’m bisexual and have the same issue with both men and women, so I know it’s not that.

and sex expert for Momentum Intimacy, for some insight. He’s a columnist himself, so I’ll step out of the way:

Honestly, one year is pretty impressive. Many folks lose sexual interest well before the one-year mark, even and ironically because they feel emotionally connected to their partner. For many, sex is about novelty and excitement. For them, emotional intimacy actually leads to a lack of sexual desire. In extreme cases, like yours, it can lead to repulsion.

You have a couple of options here. The first is to—and while I abhor when sex columnists use this phrase, I’m going to say it anyway—”spice things up.” Try to bring back the excitement and novelty through sexual exploration, kink, roleplay, BDSM, dirty talk, and the million other things you can do while having sex.

As for your current relationship, I recommend being honest with him and discussing the potential for an open relationship.It may take longer to find someone to develop a relationship with if you follow Zachary’s advice to be open about this upfront when you meet new people, but you’ll spend less time developing relationships with people who need more than you’re likely to provide as far as long term monogamy or sexual interest. In the end, it’ll be more efficient.

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